Cowboy Bebop: Unleashed
by CaramelEvangelist
Summary: Ever wonder what happens behind the scenes of your favorite anime shows? Hehe, here's a taste of it.
1. Cowboy Bebop: Unleashed Part 1

DISCLAIMER: Anything you see here is NOT mine...except for the storyline. ^__^  
  
Cowboy Bebop: Unleashed Part 1  
  
-------------------------  
  
Punch: Now, we're making a movie about our show!!  
  
Spike: What the hell? How do you make a movie out of a Bounty hunter information program??  
  
Faye: Easy. They did it, didn't they?  
  
Spike: I guess so. *Lights a cigarette*  
  
Misato: *comes in*  
  
Spike: Who the hell are you? And what are you doing on the Bebop?  
  
Misato: Oh! Whoops! I thought this was the set for Neon Genesis Evangelion! I'm going to kill Shinji for telling me the directions!  
  
Faye: Bitch, that's my gun. *points at Misato's gun*  
  
Misato: No it's not. Mr. Ikari gave it to me for being his putain.  
  
Faye: That's gross, now hand it over.  
  
Spike: I'll leave you two ladies alone. *tosses his cigarette*  
  
Ed: *feels something hot on her head* Ed feels something hot on Ed's head.  
  
Sheeta: *falls from the sky, but isn't wearing the Laputa family jewel thingo, and crashes through the top of the ship* -SPLAT-  
  
Spike: *sees the heap of broken bones* Hey, are you okay?  
  
Sheeta: uhgmmm.....*passes on*  
  
Spike: Whatever. *walks over her*  
  
Ed: *Hair catches on fire* AHHH FAYE FAYE!!  
  
Faye: *slaps Misato* Now, i want my gun!  
  
Misato: *shoots Faye, then throws the gun at her* There. You have it.  
  
Ed: *runs around, her head engulfed in flames.  
  
Jet: ED! *dumps a bucket of water on her head*  
  
Captain Dora: *flies in with her sons* SHEETA! *crashes through the side of the Bebop*  
  
Jet: Damnit, my ship! It's going to fall out of the sky if people keep crashing into it!  
  
Policeman: Misato, you are under arrest! *hand cuffs her and sends her out into space*  
  
Priss: Hey, I'm the cop here! You're not even an anime character!!  
  
Policeman: *sticks tongue out*  
  
Priss: Oh GRR...I knew I shouldn't have stopped at Macy*s before coming here!  
  
Spike: HEY it's the Burning Gundam!! *is staring out of the window* Domon Kasshu...HE'S MY HERO!! *eyes sparkle*  
  
*Burning Gundam crashes into the Bebop*   
  
Spike: YAAAY! *runs up to the giant mecha and holds out a pen and tablet* Can I have your autograph???  
  
Yugi: Sure! *takes the little pen and paper* What's your name little boy?  
  
Spike: Spike - S-P-I-K-E ^.^  
  
Yugi: *holds the pen too hard and it explodes*  
  
Spike: HEY wait a minute...you dont SOUND like Domon...  
  
Yugi: I'm not Domon.  
  
Spike: O_O *his dreams are crushed* NOOOO ;_;  
  
Yugi: o.O; *is surprised to see a grown man cry*  
  
*another loud BOOM*  
  
Jet: Crap! I will never have enough Woolongs to pay for repairs!! T_T  
  
Misato: *floating outside the window, holding her breath and turning funky colors  
  
Asuka: *comes in* Where's Misato? We can't shoot until she's on the set!  
  
Jet: *points at the window* Her?  
  
Spike: YOU IMPOSTOR!  
  
Kaiba: Mwahaha! *Is suited in the Gundam Deathscythe* Yugi, you're going DOWN!  
  
Yugi: How about Up? like uptown Mars to get a bite to eat?  
  
Kaiba: *lowers scythe* Sounds good!  
  
Faye: *heals herself* (I bet y'all didn't know she could do that, huh?) That stupid woman! *stands up and runs out of one of the holes in the Bebop's panels.*  
  
Policeman: Priss.  
  
Priss: What?  
  
Policeman: Will you marry me?  
  
Priss: When?  
  
Policeman: Now?  
  
Priss: Why?  
  
Policeman: I like you.  
  
Priss: How?  
  
Policeman: Like my wifey.  
  
Priss: Who?  
  
Policeman: Who what?  
  
Spike: AUGH I can't take it anymore! *puts hands over ears*  
  
Asuka: I'm not going out to get her. Jet, you do it.  
  
Jet: Me? What, WHY?!  
  
Asuka: You're the hairy one.  
  
Jet: --;  
  
Priss: I dunno.  
  
Policeman: You dunno what?  
  
Faye: *is in space, strangling Misato*  
  
Ed: *hair looks like one of Jet's bonzai trees*  
  
Jet: Hey, I heard that, My bonzai trees are the best!  
  
Asuka: HMPH, JEEEEET....  
  
Jet: it's JET, not JEET!  
  
Asuka: So?  
  
Policeman: *tries to glomp Priss*  
  
Priss: HEY *kicks him where the sun don't shine*  
  
Faye: *comes in with a turquoise Misato* Here, who ordered the ass-kicked Misato?  
  
Asuka: Me! I did!  
  
Faye: *tosses Misato at Asuka* There, all yours.  
  
Punch: *knocks on the screen since no one's watching* Hello?  
  
Judy: Punch, I think them people are havin' a good ol' fight!  
  
Yugi: *Comes back with Kaiba* Ok, we can fight now.  
  
Kaiba: Ok. *draws out his scythe*  
  
Yugi: No fair, you have a weapon.  
  
Kaiba: So? All's fair in love and war.  
  
Yugi: Love?  
  
Kaiba: Yes, Yugi...I love..  
  
Yugi: Not me, I hope! o.o;  
  
Kaiba: Yugi, I think I'm in love with yu-  
  
Yugi: NOOO  
  
Kaiba: You dirty man, *slaps him* I was gonna say Yuna!  
  
Yugi: NO FAIR you hit me when I wasn't ready!!  
  
Yura: Did someone say they loved me? *appears as a hologram*  
  
Kaiba: Yes, Yuna of Final Fantasy 10, I love you SO MUCH!  
  
Yugi: Total puke fest.  
  
Spike: Hey, Yuna's hot...  
  
Kaiba: HEY, she's MINE! *swipes scythe at Spike and cuts him in half*   
  
Spike: COOL now there's two of meee!!  
  
Jet: Ok, that's it! Everyone get in line!  
  
*All forms a line*  
  
Jet: If you are dead, you are excused.  
  
Misato: *falls over*  
  
Asuka: I need to leave, I have a show to shoot!  
  
Misato: x_x  
  
Asuka: Misato, too!  
  
Jet: If you're in Neon Genesis Evangelion, you can leave...for 200,000 Woolong.  
  
Asuka: WHAT? What's a Woolong?  
  
Jet: Holy crap.  
  
Asuka: I dont have any.  
  
Jet: Fine, scram!  
  
Asuka: *drags Misato out*  
  
*the whole ship rocks, and a bad smell floats through the air*  
  
Spike 1: *waves his hand near his butt* Whoo, that was wicked. Sorry!  
  
*everyone collapses from the smell*  
  
-Next: Part 2- 


	2. Cowboy Bebop: Unleashed Part 2

DISCLAIMER: Anything you see here is NOT mine...except for the storyline. ^__^  
  
Cowboy Bebop: Unleashed Part 2  
  
------------------  
  
Okay from last time, Spike 1 had just farted and rocked the whole ship!  
  
Jet: *comes to* MAN, what the hell was that awful smell?!  
  
Spike 1: It wasn't me.  
  
Spike 2: Yes it was.  
  
Jet: O_O; There's two of you??  
  
Spike 1: Yeah, remember, Kaiba, who was in the Gundam Deathscythe cut me in half.  
  
Jet: okay..?  
  
Hamtaro: *runs past Spike 2*   
  
Spike 2: EEK! A MOUSE!! GET 'EM!! GET 'Em!!  
  
Jet: *picks him up* Why, it's hamtaro! I love your show! Bijou's my fa-  
  
*Both Spikes are staring at him*  
  
Jet: *clears throat* umm, here you go little fella *puts him down*  
  
Faye: *wakes up* MAN. I don't remember what happened...  
  
Jet: Spike farted.  
  
Faye: GROSS! *gets up and goes to slap him, but sees TWO Spikes!* What the hell? Did I hit my head or something?  
  
Spike 2: Nope.  
  
Jet: He was sliced in half, and now there's two of him.  
  
Faye: T_T Double you're pleasure, double your fun.  
  
Spike 1: Hey, Spike 2, are you thinking what I'm thinking?  
  
Spike 2: I dunno, what are you thinking?  
  
Spike 1: DOUBLEMINT GUM COMMERCIAL!  
  
Spike 2: Why?  
  
Captain Dora: SHEETA Is DEAD...who did this?!  
  
Jet: She sorta fell out of the sky.  
  
Captain Dora: But she could have saved herself! Where is the Laputa family jewel thingo??  
  
Jet: What?  
  
Captain Dora: O_O;; WHAT?! You've never seen Laputa Castle In the Sky?  
  
Jet: No...  
  
Captain Dora: Boys, get him! *Her sons go after Jet*  
  
Jet: AHH! *runs like a girl*  
  
Punch: *climbs out of the TV* Why isn't anyone watching ;_; Ok, fine COMMERCIAL!  
  
*Commercial comes on and both Spikes are advertising Doublemint Gum*  
  
Judy: And now we're back!  
  
Punch: No we're not.  
  
Judy: Don't start with me, Punch.  
  
Ed: *wakes up* Whoa, Ed smelled something like...whoa, Ed smelled something like...  
  
Spike 1: It's annoying having a twin.  
  
Spike 2: ;_; You don't love me anymore!!  
  
Spike 1: You're right. BANG *takes out a magnum and shoots the crap out of Spike 2*  
  
Spike 2: x_x   
  
Jet: *comes back just in time* O_O;;  
  
Yugi: Hey, I feel a duel coming on. Any body got some Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards?  
  
Kaiba: Nope, but I have a scythe. *scythe glows*  
  
Yugi: Man, this tight costume is really making me sweat!!  
  
Kaiba: Haha, don't you wish you were an old Gundam like me?  
  
Yugi: No.  
  
Priss: WHOO, Dolly!  
  
Policeman: My name is Dollup.  
  
Priss: So?  
  
Policeman: You called me Dolly.  
  
Priss: I never called you anything.  
  
Policeman: Yes you did.  
  
Priss: *slaps him* NO I DIDN'T  
  
Policeman: *to the camera* Wow, she likes me *grins*  
  
Spike: Wow, I'm back to normal. I'm tall, thin, lanky, and everyone thinks I'm hott. YES!  
  
Jet: *rolls eyes*  
  
Domon: *Runs in* OKAY, Yugi, I've had enough, give me my Gundam back!  
  
Spike: DOMON KASSHU!! *runs up to him with a pen and paper* Can I have your autograph?  
  
Domon: *turns around* SPIKE SPIEGEL!! Can I have YOUR autograph, too??  
  
Spike: YEAH!  
  
*They both give each other their autographs*  
  
Spike: I love you, Domon.  
  
Domon: ^^; Hey man, I don't roll that way.  
  
Spike: Oh. Well, i have a girl anyway.  
  
Ed: It's me right, Spike-person?  
  
Spike: Eh...o.O; Not exactly.  
  
Ed: But why?  
  
Spike: You're a kid.  
  
Ed: So?  
  
Spike: I'm a man.  
  
Ed: So?  
  
Jet: Ed, here, play with Ein.  
  
Ein: Arf?  
  
Ed: Ein is mad at me.  
  
Jet: Why?  
  
Ed: I called him poof-butt dog.  
  
Faye: So?  
  
Policeman: *Goes up to Faye* Will you marry me?  
  
Faye: No.  
  
Policeman: Is it because I'm ugly?  
  
Faye: Yes.  
  
Policeman: I'm not ugly.  
  
Faye: And?  
  
Jet: *sigh*  
  
Spike: Whoa, Nelly...look at the holes in your ship, Jet!  
  
Ed: My name's Ed.  
  
Spike: What?  
  
Ed: Ed.  
  
Jet: I need at LEAST 50 million woolongs to cover all of the damage.  
  
Spike: So? Do we have any food?  
  
Jet: Leftover bell peppers and beef.  
  
Spike: There's never any beef in it.  
  
Jet: Tofu. Just pretend.  
  
Yugi: Well, I better get back to my OWN show. You too, kaiba.  
  
Kaiba: It's not my show, if it was it would be called Kai-Ba-Oh!  
  
Yugi: Funny, come on. *stomps out*  
  
Domon: MY GUNDAM!!  
  
Captain Dora: Well, ok, so I guess I better go back too.  
  
Jet: See ya...  
  
Captain Dora: *flies away*  
  
Domon: *chases Yugi and Kaiba*  
  
Jet: Everyone's gone, my ship is falling down to Mars, and I can't fix it.  
  
Ed: *dances around with a bonzai plant on her head* Look at me Jet-Jet!  
  
Jet: o.O; GIVE THAT BACK!!  
  
*Jet is chasing Ed around*  
  
CRASH  
  
Jet: =( There's going to be some hell around here.  
  
Ed: Oops...^^;;  
  
Spike: Come on, let the kid go, she-WHAT THE HELL?! PUT THAT DOWN!!  
  
Ed: *running around with a picture of Julia posing for Playboy* La La La, Isn't Julia-Person PRETTY??  
  
Spike: EDWAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!!! *Screams it Fred Flinstone style*  
  
-Next: Intermission- 


	3. Cowboy Bebop: Unleashed Intermission

DISCLAIMER: Anything you see here is NOT mine...except for the storyline. ^__^  
  
Cowboy Bebop: Unleashed -Intermission-  
  
------------------  
  
Punch: Finally! *jumps out of the TV again* Now, where was I? OH! Yes, come on Judy, we need to make our second movie!  
  
Judy: What about the first?  
  
Punch: Enough!  
  
Spike: Uhh...what?  
  
Punch: Doof!  
  
Judy: *looks at the camera* Oh! My I didn't know they were filming this!  
  
Faye: They were filming the whole time.  
  
Punch: Oh no, here come the censors! Back into the tube, Judy!  
  
*They jump back in*  
  
-Next: Part 3- 


	4. Cowboy Bebop: Unleashed Part 3

DISCLAIMER: Anything you see here is not mine...except for the storylines ^__^  
  
Cowboy Bebop: Unleashed Part 3  
  
---------------  
  
Aya: *blasts the door open with her bazooka*  
  
Spike: Heh, Jet, that's another 500 woolong.  
  
Jet: Damn it, everyone get out!  
  
Aya: Is Eve in here??  
  
Spike: Who?  
  
Ed: I'm Ed.  
  
Aya: Eve.  
  
Ed: Ed.  
  
Eve: I'm here! *lounging on the sofa*  
  
Aya: *shoots Eve, her head rolls off*   
  
Eve: Ugh, Excuse me, Aya. No violence on the ship!  
  
Aya: Oh...SORRY! *runs and grabs Eve's head and drags her body out* Have a nice day everyone!  
  
Spike: o.o;  
  
Jet: OK! Enough with this Intermission!  
  
Faye: Actually, it is the end of the intermission, We're in part 3 already....  
  
Jet: *gets a casual look* Oh oh..yeah I knew that..!  
  
Ed: Ein.  
  
Ein: ?  
  
Julius: Spike  
  
Spike: !!! JULIA?!  
  
Julius: Hahaha fooled you again! Want a date? *dressed as Julia*  
  
Spike: --; No thank you.  
  
Jet: *starts bawling* My ship!  
  
Faye: Hey guys?  
  
Spike: What?  
  
Faye: If there are these huge holes in the ship, wouldn't we...well..DIE FROM LACK OF AIR?!  
  
*cricket cricket*  
  
Jet: Get to your ship! *runs to the Hammerhead*  
  
Faye: *runs to the Red Tail*  
  
Spike: Damn, I'm stuck with the kid and the animal. COME ON!  
  
Ed: ok-ok, Spike-person! *runs by his side, Ein in her arms*  
  
*they all fly away*  
  
Faye: *on intercom* You know, we're supposed to be dead from all that time with all the holes.  
  
*A huge Eva mecha flies around*  
  
Spike: Geez, what is that?  
  
Shinji: Eva Unit 01, Pilot Shinji Ikari. Who are you?  
  
Spike: Spike.  
  
Shinji: Who?  
  
Spike: I just told you.  
  
Shinji: Oh well, Smike, you're in my way.  
  
Spike: It's SPIKE!  
  
Shinji: Strike? That's a weird name.  
  
Spike: ARGH! *starts shooting at the mecha*  
  
Shinji: AHHH WHAT THE HeLL! *fires a beam at the Swordfish II*  
  
Ed: WEEEEEEEEEE  
  
Spike: SHUT UP, ED!  
  
Ed: EEEEEEEEEEW  
  
Spike: T_T *grabs Ed and throws her out into space*  
  
Ed: GASP *doesn't have any air*  
  
Spike: *dodges Shinji's attack* I need backup!  
  
Faye: Don't look at me, I'm going to Venus to shop.  
  
Spike: A hell of a time to go SHOpPING...  
  
Jet: Spike, you know she doesn't care..  
  
*KABOOM*  
  
Jet: Wha? *looks back*....O_O MY SHIP!  
  
*The Bebop had crashed into Earth*  
  
Spike: *starts laughing his head off*  
  
Ed: *floating around as if the lack of oxygen were normal*  
  
Jet: What the heck, Spike? Did you PUT her out there?!  
  
Spike: Umm *looks around* NO!  
  
Jet: --; Ed I'm coming for you!  
  
*Jet drives over to Ed and picks her up*  
  
Ed: Spike-person let me play out side.  
  
Jet: Hmph.  
  
Spike: *Heard her* NOT UH!  
  
Jet: Whatever.  
  
Spike: So now what?  
  
Jet: I don't know.  
  
Ed: FOOD  
  
Spike: No money.  
  
Jet: Let's go to Jupiter.  
  
Spike: NO Julius is probably waiting there!  
  
Jet: --; Okay, so the man is gay...he's not going to FORCE you...I mean just dont go that way  
  
Spike: Aww...do we have to?  
  
Jet: Shut up and drive!  
  
Faye: Ummm guys...  
  
Spike: The woman is back  
  
Faye: Can you come and get me? The mafia took me hostage  
  
Jet: nope, sorry! *click*  
  
Spike: Haha!  
  
Ed: Why don't we help FAYE-FAYE?  
  
Jet: She smells  
  
Spike: She smells like a woman.  
  
Jet: Well I sure hope so!  
  
Ed: Ed's confused.  
  
Jet: You know what I realized?  
  
Spike: What, Jet-O?  
  
Jet: Okay, first of all, don't ever call me that again, and second of all, no other characters from any other anime have bothered us...  
  
Spike: And your point is?  
  
Jet: --;  
  
Ed: Ed Ed Ed Eddddd is huuuuuuungryyyyyy  
  
Jet: No food here.  
  
Spike: I have a pretzel from three years ago.  
  
Jet: *sigh* Give me strength...  
  
Ed: ME ME ME ME ME EDDDDDD  
  
Jet: Okay,this really boring...  
  
Faye: Spike, can you hear me?  
  
Spike: No.  
  
Faye: Then why did you answer?  
  
Spike: it's rude not to.  
  
Faye: Well telling me you can't hear me is rude!  
  
Spike: So?  
  
Faye: Well can you come get me?  
  
Spike: Why?  
  
Faye: I've been taken hostage  
  
Spike: When?  
  
Faye: like when i went shopping maybe?  
  
Spike: How?  
  
Faye: Just come down here!  
  
Spike: But I'm up.  
  
Faye: ARGH! *click*  
  
Spike: How rude. She hung up.  
  
Jet: I would too.  
  
Spike: Why?  
  
Jet: *slaps forehead* ok ok, just make a right here.  
  
Spike: *makes left*  
  
Jet: SPIKE!!  
  
Spike: OH the real right...ok *turns fast and crashes into Jet's ship*  
  
Jet: Damnit, Spike! Now We're gonna fall!  
  
*they bot fall*  
  
Ed: WEEEE ROLLERCOASTER *Is sitting in Jet's lap*  
  
Jet: Get off of me!! *tries to gain control of his ship*  
  
Spike: Freefall...it's pretty fun! ^^  
  
Ed: Ed thinks Ed's gonna be sick...  
  
Jet: ARGH, no here! *gives her a barf bag*  
  
Ed: too late...  
  
Jet: *looks down and sees chunks on his lap* GRR!  
  
*they both crash into the ground*  
  
Spike: My SPLEEN  
  
Jet: MY BEARD  
  
Ed:...ED!!!  
  
-Next: Part 4- 


	5. Cowboy Bebop: Unleashed Part 4

DISCLAIMER: Anything you see here is not mine...except for the storylines ^__^  
  
Cowboy Bebop: Unleashed Part 4  
  
---------------  
  
Narrator: Yeah, all this time and I just come in now, right? AHEM. *uses big narrator guy voice* Okay, last time on CB:U, Jet's ship, the Bebop, crashes into Earth; Faye is taken hostage by the mafia; Spike and Jet crash into each other and hurt themselves.  
  
Spike: My SPLEEN  
  
Jet: My BEARD  
  
Ed:...ED!!!  
  
...Meanwhile...  
  
Faye: *tied up to a balloon* What the hell is this balloon for?  
  
Mafia Guy 1: Decoration. *grins*  
  
Faye: T_T  
  
Mafia Guy 3: *Hits mafia guy 1*  
  
Mafia Guy 2: *hits both mafia guy 1 and 3*  
  
Faye: *hops away, a balloon stuck to her back* Now, how do i get out of here?  
  
Kid: Hey, lady, you have a balloon stuck to your ass.  
  
Faye: *turns* Grr, didn't your mother teach you manners?!  
  
Kid: I DONT HAVE A MOM *kicks Faye in the shin and runs away*  
  
Faye: Shit. T_T *falls on her butt, popping the balloon, and causing a stinging sensation* _o; Like...OW?!  
  
...Back at the scene of the accident...  
  
Spike: What's a spleen?  
  
Jet: You're a 28 year old man, and you don't know what the hell a spleen is?  
  
Spike: You're 32  
  
Jet: Sure.  
  
Spike: Or was it 36?  
  
Jet: I'm not answering that.  
  
Ed: *eats a rock*  
  
Jet: You know...I just realized...we're in a desert...  
  
Spike: And?  
  
Jet: Which planet has a desert?!  
  
Spike: Earth?  
  
Jet: Crap.  
  
Ed: YAY ED'S HOME!!  
  
Spike: Can we go to your house?  
  
Jet: *falls over*  
  
Ed: Ed doesn't remember where Ed lives.  
  
Narrator: Okay, to make this A.S.A.P (As short as possible), three years pass, and the three of them turn into Cavemen. Ed, however hits puberty and is a cavewoman, and finds love with a Komodo Dragon. Spike never learns what a spleen is, but he learns alot about the way Jet combs his new long beard (It's down to his feet), Jet keeps to himself...keeps EVERYTHING to himself (that includes hunted food). Faye gets a job as a cocktail waitress and is always getting hit on by the drunken manager. She later quits and becomes a hobo. :)  
  
.::*FIN*::. 


End file.
